Marriages without Sex (2)
By: Beth McHugh 2008
In our first article on this topic, we looked at the marriage between Sue and James, who had only had intercourse on one occasion two years after the wedding in order to satisfy Sue’s longing for a child.
So, two years into an unconsummated marriage, Sue allowed James to have sex with her over a period of three nights and the result was a beautiful baby boy. The marriage then resumed its sex-free criteria because Sue was “too busy getting over the birth and having to cope with a new baby”. James accepted this for a time, as he too became besotted with his baby boy and became an excellent hands-on father.
Just over a year after the birth of their child, Sue again permitted James to have sex with her. Again it was for a period of a couple of days, after which Sue shut down shop again. After several months, with no conception obvious, Sue repeated her behavior again and had sex with James again.
By this stage, James realized what was going on but was so happy to have intercourse that he didn’t complain. Again, Sue became pregnant and withdrew her sexual favors. James then realized that his wife had been carefully plotting her fertility cycle in order to predict the best times to get pregnant so as to minimize the number of times she had to have intercourse.
The realization of his wife’s motives upset James to the point that he confronted his wife and demanded to know what the problem was. After six nights of continual arguments, Sue finally revealed the truth. She had been raped by her father throughout her childhood years and could not bear the thought of having intercourse with anyone.
James was a compassionate man but he insisted that Sue have counseling over her issues as they had now been married for nearly five years and he could count the number of times he had had sex on one hand.
But Sue refused to have counseling on the grounds that she was a well-known psychologist and couldn’t bear to go to see one of her colleagues for help.
We will continue the story of Sue and James in our next