Recent Articles
Office Politics and Narcissistic
Personality Disorder
We all encounter “difficult” people in the workplace, and
Karen was no exception. But there are subtle, yet significant, differences
in the way Karen behaves towards other employees that places her outside
of being just a difficult person to deal with. Karen is a full-blown
narcissist... (Read more)
Mothers with Borderline
Personality Disorder
Lillian is an excellent example of how borderline personality disorder
(BPD) can affect an entire family, as well as causing extreme unhappiness
to the individual. Lillian is in her mid-40s and the younger of two
daughters. Although personality disorders are not formally diagnosed
until adulthood, the subtle signs are present by the late teens and
Lillian’s heavy drinking and promiscuous activities left her pregnant
at 19... (Read more)
The Stigma
and Misunderstandings Surrounding Mental Illness
I was alerted to the publication of the article below by a colleague
who has worked in the field of mental illness for over two decades.
It was written by Jaelea Skehan, who is the Director of the Hunter Institute
of Mental Health in Australia. Read her article below and you will see
a clear example of why mental illness remains a problem for sufferers
due to the inability of people in this woman’s position to have
even a modicum of understanding of the pain that sufferers endure on
a daily basis... (Read
more)
Poor Treatment
of Suicide Survivors
What’s worse than getting to the point where life is nothing more
than an ongoing emotional hell that needs to end? It’s surviving
a suicide attempt and being treated by so-called professional medical
staff with contempt and irritation... (Read
more)
The Male Narcissist
as a Worker and a Husband
... By the time Jenny was due to give birth, she was essentially alone
all day, isolated from the community, had no employment and was far
from family and friends. Jenny gave birth to a baby boy, whom Anthony
crowed over and shared photos on social media and at work. Anthony was
happy and proud of his achievement. It was all about Anthony... (Read
more)
No-One
Believes My Mother Is a Narcissist: The Narcissistic Façade
... On the surface, Gloria looks like a godsend. Under many conditions,
she is seemingly able to “control” her narcissism. However,
this “control” is a façade. The reason why Gloria
does all of the community work that she does is not due to her desire
to help others – it is all about her need to look good to others
and to look good to herself. In performing these duties, Gloria successfully
convinces others that she is a “wonderful” person –
“warm” and “loving”... (Read
more)
Michelle: A Study of Borderline
Personality Disorder
Like many people with borderline personality disorder (BPD), Michelle
is initially engaging and personable at first meeting. She has a deep
need to be liked by those she sees as her betters, and therefore is
compliant with those she reveres. Hence she appears to be easy to get
on with, and helpful and willing to please. But it doesn’t take
long for most of Michelle’s endeavours to flounder, both personally
and in the workplace, due to her BPD... (Read
more)
My Narcissistic
Mother is Dead: What Now?
What happens when your narcissistic parent suddenly dies? This largely
depends on what level the client has reached in therapy or in their
individual processing about the relationship. Being in therapy makes
this passage (and, in fact, dealing with a narcissist) much easier,
as negative belief systems sown in early childhood need to be unravelled
and changed... (Read
more)
Estranged
Adult Children: When People Blame the Mother
The phenomenon of estranged adult children is on the rise and affects
more families than statistics indicate. This is largely through the
embarrassment of parents who are hesitant to admit to anyone outside
the immediate family that they have not heard from their adult children
in months or even years. It is seen as a failure on the part of the
parents... (Read
more)
Hannah and Jeff
– How a Mother coped with her Estranged Son
In the previous article on Hannah and her two sons, we looked how Hannah
dealt with the difficult relationship she had with her younger adult
son, Cam. In today’s article we will be following Hannah as she
works in therapy to decide how best to cope with the estrangement from
her elder son, Jeff... (Read
More)
Coping with
Estranged Adult Children (2)
So many of my clients have suffered from the effects of having a relationship
with an estranged son or daughter. The estrangement is not the choice
of the parent – it is a choice of the adult child. When the cause
of the estrangement is obvious, there is less pain on the part of the
parent. However, in the cases I work with, many of these parents (often
it is the mother who seeks counseling) have no real idea of why their
adult son or daughter no longer wishes to have contact with them. Not
only does this cause extreme emotional pain to the mother, but as the
cause is not known, there is nothing that can be done to rectify the
situation... (Read
More)
Living
with Difficult Adult Children: The Story of Helen
Helen has three adult daughters. Aged in their 30’s, they act
more like adolescents than adults, regarding their ability to plan and
take responsibility for their lives. These women do not have psychiatric
disorders but they have failed to mature as normally expected. So instead
of being able to relax and enjoy her space from active mothering, Helen
is basically “on call” for every minor trauma or circumstance
that happens in these girls lives. And the word “girl” is
intentional, because in no way are any of these three daughters “women”...
(Read More)
Being the Child
of a Parent with Borderline Personality Disorder
In this article, we will be addressing the experience of being a child
brought up by an adult with BPD, and the emotional damage that may result
from growing up in such an environment... (Read
More)
Philip: Obsessive Compulsive
Personality Disorder in the Workplace
Philip is an intelligent and hard-working engineer with many years experience
in his field. He also suffers from undiagnosed Obsessive Compulsive
Personality Disorder (OCPD). This came up during the marital counseling
he was undergoing with his wife. The marriage was in trouble because
Philip’s wife Sara was at her wit’s end in trying to communicate
with her husband... (Read
More)
Coping with
Estranged Adult Children
In this article, and ones to follow, we will be looking at relationships
between parents and their adult children. In particular, when those
supposed adult-to-adult relationships go horribly wrong. One of the
features of many of these relationships is that the parent does not
know why they are now estranged from their adult children. And, of more
concern, when they try to ask what is wrong, the parent is often met
with a wall of silence... (Read
more)