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My NPD father is 80 years old, and suffers from Parkinsons and some other health issues. He occasionally over the years has threatened suicide in a rather casual way during a conversation. Last week he managed to get himself locked up at the VA hospital becasue he threatened to shoot himself when he wasn't understood by an appointment clerk there. He receives full disability pay from the VA for issues related to Korea. (This is a fairly recent thing--he retired as a mechanic, and is now working the system.) He is on medication, but we have been told by my mother that what he is on is no one's business, and she is taking care of it. My brother took away the gun we did not know dad was carrying.
My siblings and I have had a lifetime of these two, and now they have gotten worse with age. Mom protects him at all costs, and even though she has 7 children, she has always told us that he was her most important job. They will not allow us to help them with driving, appointments, etc., but for every emergency room drama (car accidents for both, illnesses that went untreated, etc.) we need to buy a ticket to and arrive early.
Anyway, there's so much back history that every child of a NPD parent and codependent parent knows already, but the suicide thing is new for us--anyone else have that issue?
Now that I reread this, I sound like a terrible daughter....yes, he's a vet...yes he "provided', yes he's my father....but he also threatened suicide one time when I was a teenager because I wouldn't cut my hair in a style he picked out. It's all bull, and it's all about him, as always.

Buddy,
When it comes to threats of self harm, the safest, surest thing to do is try to have him assessed by a psychiatrist. Even if it means calling the authorities on him if he refuses to go voluntarily. If he's fair dinkum, you've helped him get proper treatment. If he's pulling your chain and using threats to manipulate people then he'll get more attention than he'll really want. Its not a fun process and he'll think twice before pulling that stunt again. Either way, you get to sleep at night knowing you've done all you can. If your asking if suicide threats are normal for narcissists then I wouldn't have a clue. My NM never did, but that is just my family dynamic.

Hi Buddy,
It's important that your father is properly assessed for NPD before I can really answer this question. Narcissists do not engage in self harm, rather, that harm is directed outwards, as you have experienced. However, your father may not have NPD but another disorder and therefore the suicide reference should be taken seriously, unless you are certain that NPD is present and no other co-morbidity (ie. other mental illness). This needs to be doen by a professional. As narcissists do not seek therapy because they believe there is nothing "wrong" with them, it is necessary to do a clinical assessment by proxy. This is done by a family member and consists of a comprehensive questionnaire covering several similar illnesses. If you would like to have your father assessed, contact me on the main website under Services. It is not uncommon for misdiagnosis to occur, so as suicidal threats are not part of the NPD profile, at this stage it might be best to put some credence into what he is saying/doing.

Best,
Beth