NPD Dad (again!)

[cheech]

Hi Beth -

Is it possible for my NPD Dad to file charges of desertion/abandonment against his children? I sense something coming down the pike.

Cheech

[Beth McHugh]

Hi Cheech,
Your father is rattling his sabre as he feels like he's lost his control. There probably is something coming down the track -- he will likely get very angry, and try to play one child off the other. But no, children can't desert their parents, he legally can do nothing to you for not seeing him if that is what concerns you. Maintenance doesn't work in reverse, but what this does show is the deep effect he has cast over you during your life. Hang in there, you will survive.

Best,
Beth

[cheech]

Thanks, Beth. Good information again.
Cheech

[Grizelda]

I've run into this question before. I'm interested if it's true in other countries, but in the US, in some states (about 30 of them, I think), there's something called "filial obligation" laws. They're seldom enforced, especially since the advent of Social Security and Medicare benefits, because they're seen as very disruptive to families, and it's easy for adult children to just move to another state where they don't have the laws and apparently, then there's no way to enforce them.

In most cases, the parent must be destitute, without adequate food, shelter and basic medical care. Also, the adult child must have enough money not only to provide for his elderly destitute parent, but also enough additional money to provide for his own retirement, his children and their college educations, etc.

You can also get out of it if you can show abuse or desertion by this parent. I would also assume that if there were any kind of legal case, all the children of the parent would be responsible equally, assuming they all had the means to support the elderly parent.

[Beth McHugh]

Thank you for this information, Grizelda. Hope this helps to comfort other readers in the US.

Best,
Beth

[shrek]

Is this part of what is called 'narcissistic rage'? How far can a narcissist go to make you feel his wrath?

[Beth McHugh]

A person with straight NPD displays rage on occasions when their needs are not met. However, this rage is usually in the form of verbal assault and perhaps some minor material damage. However, if someone came to the door during such an incident the narcissist would be either quite pleasant and charming to the visitor and act as though nothing had happened or, alternatively, they could berate their current victim verbally in front of the visitor. But that would depend on the status of the visitor as to what face they would show. NPDs must always appear to look and be good.

I will be posting a series of articles on this site on sadistic narcissism which is a more pernicious form of NPD. Here the person derives pleasure from verbally demeaning their victim.

If a person with a qualified diagnosis of NPD performs an act of physical violence then we would be looking at a co-morbidity situation. That is, there are two mental illnesses present. As a rule, the DSM-IV-TR does not classify violence as part of narcissitic personality disorder. The violence is there, but it's all psychological.

Hope this helps,
Beth McHugh

[kelvinman]

where can i find a medical billing software at?

[Beth McHugh]

Maybe someone can help you with this one, Kelvin

Best,
Beth