This type of behavior is not a mental illness in itself but does come along for the ride in some mental illnesses. But it occurs in everyday life as too. But if you are in a relationship with one or work for one, it does make life hard.
I have written some articles on this way of comminicating. You can find them http://mental-health.families.com/blog/ ... -the-house.
Once you have read the first article, there are further links to other articles on dealing with this type of behavior in your life.
B.Sc (Hons). B.Psych. Dip.Sc.
Principal, Your Online Counselor
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