I have gone to a therapist who helped me get through the worst - the guilt, the extreme paralysis - but I still don't feel like my life is all that it could be.
Before I fell into my sisters clutches, I had many suitors and always thought I would get married and have a family. Well, that never happened - largely because of the extreme demands my sister made and with which I complied for far too many years until my self-esteem was demolished. Now, my self-esteem is on the mend, but my child-bearing years are behind me.
HOw do I deal with the resentment? How do I deal with the self-anger and shame that I didn't even recognize how unreasonable my sister was and instead, internalized her false accusations and characterizations of me?
Most importantly, how do I get my own life? How do I live life fully?
Sorry for the delay in replying -- my books have been closed due to client overload.
It sounds like you need to forgive yourself, but before that all the rage has to be let go of. I have an article called Forgiving Your Narcissitic Parent. You can find it on the main forum under NPD. This may hekp in the short term. By learning more about NPD and how you were manipulated by your sister, you will be in a better position to understand why she did what she did, why she had such power over you and learn that that power was really you giving up your power. Now is the time to take back your power and the best way is to understadn the process by which it all happened. If you need help in doing this, contact me at Services on the main webpage. You don't have to live your life chained to your sister by anger and regret. You can be free and make your own life.
B.Sc (Hons). B.Psych. Dip.Sc.
Principal, Your Online Counselor
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