At the end of my rope

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KristenCook2
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At the end of my rope

Post by KristenCook2 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 11:38 pm

A little backstory: My Dad has always been very judgmental & emotionally abusive to my siblings, Mom, and I. Although we lived in the same house I had no relationship with him until my Mom suddenly died when I was 16 and was forced to assume care for my 8- year - old sister per my Dad's instruction that this was my "responsibility" now. I essentially gave all of my remaining teen years & most of my 20's to caring for my sister & various other household duties for my Dad, of course hearing constantly that how I lived my life was wrong, didn't live up to others, etc. I eventually married, started a business, and moved on with my life although I did allow my Dad to stay in my life as he was my only living parent and I felt I owed him that much.

Fast forward and my Dad is now in his 70's. He has type 2 diabetes but refuses to eat right or monitor his sugar levels which has resulted in a minor stroke and he's also in remission from leukemia. He very much wants to live with either my sister or myself but we're both adamant that this is not a possibility. At this point he requires much more care than either of us are able to or feel comfortable providing. He currently lives with our brother who is an addict and their relationship is toxic and codependent. Our brother doesn't want to discuss making plans for Dad because then brother will be on the street as Dad pays all the bills for their home. Dad refuses to make any plans for any kind of assisted living as he's certain he can wear my sister or myself down and allow him to live with one of us. Every interaction with him is full of manipulation and what I've begun calling "terrorist tactics" where he either demands I do things for him or simply asks the same things over and over again. I'm having a hard time setting boundaries and not giving into the constant guilt trips. At the same time, I've already given enough of my life to this man and I'm not willing to give up anymore of my life because he refuses to handle his.

Does anyone have any insight or advice for my situation? I've looked for a local support group but so far have been unsuccessful. I'm feeling very overwhelmed and battered.

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