Ex wife did a real job on Daughter

[alien pirate]

We lived in London - ex wife moved back to Scotland with 3 year old daughter 35 years ago - tried to keep in contact for 35 years once a month telephone calls.... asked to wedding 3 years ago - surprised I came! - I don't know why.... daughter had serious depression through late teens through 20's - She's met smashing guy in Midlands where she is living and last year had her first son... wanted to take her for a birthday meal - claimed she was 'ill' then on face book stated she had gone out.... then when her baby was born claimed she didn't want anyone around for first few weeks which extended to six months before I saw My grandson the one and only time. she was playing on Face book on my 65th Birthday but didn't even bother texting phoning or send birthday card. She has rejected every offer of help and assistance, I can give and now she is sending me text pictures of my Grandson which she clearly does not want me to meet...

what the hell do I do?

[Beth McHugh]

We lived in London - ex wife moved back to Scotland with 3 year old daughter 35 years ago - tried to keep in contact for 35 years once a month telephone calls.... asked to wedding 3 years ago - surprised I came! - I don't know why.... daughter had serious depression through late teens through 20's - She's met smashing guy in Midlands where she is living and last year had her first son... wanted to take her for a birthday meal - claimed she was 'ill' then on face book stated she had gone out.... then when her baby was born claimed she didn't want anyone around for first few weeks which extended to six months before I saw My grandson the one and only time. she was playing on Face book on my 65th Birthday but didn't even bother texting phoning or send birthday card. She has rejected every offer of help and assistance, I can give and now she is sending me text pictures of my Grandson which she clearly does not want me to meet...

what the hell do I do?

Hi Alien Pirate,
First of all, congratulations for keeping in contact with your daughter for 35 years. Many fathers do not do this. So although the marriage failed, you tried your best to keep contact. The fact that your daughter has suffered bouts of severe depression so young indicates that she has been affected by the break up, plus other incidences that occurred since she was three that have pushed her into this state of extreme unhappiness. She may or may not have been poisoned by your ex-wife, but you did get and invite to the wedding. Plus you like your daughter's choice of husband, which indicates that you aren't competing with him and you are genuinely happy that your daughter is happy. I agree is is a sad situation for her to be online on your birthday and not acknowledge it. You have offered her help and she has refused. However, she is sending you pictures of your grandson so she has not cut you out entirely. At this point, I would continue on texting your daughter and indulge in everyday chit-chat, nothing too involved, and ask how the little boy is going and an occasional text. Try just to keep in contact. If you know where she lives, you could send birthday and Xmas gifts to the child, but not your daughter yet. If you would like to contact me to book a session, we could look at ways to try to get past this impasse. You can do this by going to the main webpage by clicking the link above. Try not to give up hope. She has not cut you out completely and her husband may also be of some assistance now in keeping you in contact with your daughter and his son.

Best wishes,
Beth