Your Beliefs and How They Can Make You Unhappy (1)
By: Beth McHugh 2007
Ever wondered just why you don’t seem to enjoy life as much as other people around you? Perhaps you think they have just got better lives than you and therefore suffer less stress and worries. While we each have differing degrees of stressors in our lives, it is not necessary to become a victim of every negative event that happens to you.
One of the things that separates happy people from unhappy folk is their belief system about themselves and the world around them. Of course, there are times in our lives when so many difficult life events may converge upon us simultaneously that our coping skills are completely overwhelmed. This is when we desperately need the help of supportive friends and family. We may also require the help of a counselor.
Yet I am not talking here about these “crisis” points in our lives. I am talking about everyday levels of vague happiness and discontentment. Do you often catch yourself comparing yourself to others and find that your life seems to fall far short of theirs in terms of success and happiness? Could it be that your interpretation of others may be wrong and merely based on your own perception of yourself and the world? Let’s have a look at how powerful self beliefs really are.
Common self beliefs held by people who experience high levels of stress and negativity in their lives:
It is absolutely necessary for me to have love and approval from my family, friends and co-workers. I must have it or I feel just awful.
It is impossible to expect to be loved and admired by everybody in your life. Be honest, do you like and admire everyone you know? The answer to this question is inevitably “no”. It’s not humanly possible to do so. We are simply not built that way. So why should you expect everyone to like and admire you?
This way of thinking places yourself in a losing position, therefore you can expect to feel negative about yourself when you don’t achieve this unrealistic need. Thinking about this concept can help you to make a significant change in how you see others and therefore yourself. Being realistic about what you expect from others will also increase your own self esteem and happiness quotient. It’s nice to have approval from others but it’s absolutely essential to have love and approval from yourself.
Next article: Let’s shatter another unrealistic belief that may be causing you distress in your life.